Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
