I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
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