why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
