Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
