when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
