He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
