Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
