i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
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Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
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I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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