Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Randomize
