So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Randomize
