looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Randomize
