I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
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