Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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