just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
