wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I think I sprained my soul last night
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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