Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize
