my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
