I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
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