Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
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