He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Randomize
