Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
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so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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