HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
