On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
