If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
