i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Randomize
