Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize