I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
