I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
