I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
