Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Did I show you my penis last night?
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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