I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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