you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Randomize