Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
