May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Randomize
