So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize