It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Randomize
