guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
