I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
