Got a toothbrush?
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Congratulations! We have a period
Randomize
