What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
