Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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