My first STD was from a foam party
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
