i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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