break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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