i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
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Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
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Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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