4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
