just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
i think im in europe. pls send help
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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