we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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