Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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