I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
