So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I should be sponsored by Trojan
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Randomize
