6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
