you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
operation harelip BJ is a go
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Shitshow foam night was such a success
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
