never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
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Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
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Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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