Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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