he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
