I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
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