i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Randomize
