So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
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