now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
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