I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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