His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
